HEY TUTS, HOW BOUT A FOOD REVIEW, OK

Ok people, today were doing greek, so make sure you're appetite is BLG and FAT. Now some of you are probably sitting here feeling like total experts on the subject thinking "oh that big greek place on ventura is the best herp derp d derp..." well, no its not. I mean ya, I would think flambéed snail served with a garlic butter sauce, accompanied with goats thigh is the best thing in the world if thats all I knew, but no, there are  more things to eat in this world than a crunch wrap supreme.<== those are really good too but anyways. Alright so, one day on Mount Olympus Zeus was kicking it with his main Girl Vanilla Hera, when all of a sudden he was like "oh snap, I'm hungry, Honey go fetch me some nectar from the womb of delciousness." Being the strong independent wife Hera is, she was quick to deny Zeus' Request. Zeus had no choice but to find a new wife.... JUST KIDDING, but he did have to go get his own food, SOOOO, he took a lightning bolt and dipped it in some fine wine (legend has it as a 50. B.C. Chateau Montenella Zinfandel) and casted it down upon the earth somewhere near USC, and this happened ===> http://www.papacristos.com/ C& K Greek imports or more commonly known  as PAPA CRISTOS. Now this aint no sit down restaurant, well, it is, but not something you take your girl out to for dinner, maybe for lunch ;). Inside is like a small family market selling imported greek foods from all around the world, more specifically Greece. They have feta, olives, feta, feta, feta, olives, lamb, feta, olive oil, lamb, feta, and all other greek foods, but thats the stuff you take home after we get to the good stuff. SO, once you enter, get past the shopping ladies, then you see that they have a little restaurant in the back. You would think at first sight that "oh, some quick cheap place to eat before I head back home to watch the game and drink beer," but you are wrong, oh so wrong. Its one of those places that have pictures of all the food so you can point and water at there greatness, so I'm going to give you guys a little breakdown of what goes down in the down town. So, some random non greek woman will ask you "what do you want?' This is how you answer===>

I would like to have a 1 Gyro. I love this place because when I say Gyro like Gyro and not Euro, they don't correct me like every other smart ass at cheese cake factory does or something. These are the best gyros you will ever eat. The softest warm greek pita that melts in your mouth upon insertion into the oral cavity. The lamb is so fresh and so well spiced, its like an explosion in your mouth of MMMMMMM. The rest is the usual, yogurt sauce and salad inside. Pure heaven

I would also like to have one Cheese Pastry. Think of this as a feta hot pocket, not because they taste like **** but because if you don't wait before you eat, its like biting into a balloon filled with napalm and your mouth will be incinerated, and everything for the next 2 weeks will taste like cardboard. When eaten properly, these are divine, the melted Feta and the crispy flaky crust are like little pockets of greatness.

I would like a Grilled Feta Plate. Something about cooking cheese always gets me. You take cheese, something already super delishtastic, and you crisp it up a bit mmmmm. SO they grill you some feta, drench it in olive oil and oregeno, and serve with grilled tomatoes. Simple and Divine.

I would like some Grilled Baby Octopus!!!!!! This is my favorite. When an octopus is born into this world, it has to biologically wired purposes in this world. The first is to reproduce to cary out the next generation. The second is hopefully to get caught by the fishing company so it can be taken to the valhalla of deliciousness where there it is sacrificed and turned into the greatest dish on this planet. These crazy greeks take these octopi, put them on the grill and and crisp them to the wrote temp, so they are soft in the middled, but the tentacles are crispy on the outside mmmmmm. Then they are drenched in olive oil, lemon and oregano, and served in a bowl of foil to keep warm. You are probably sitting here "ew, octopus, ewewewewewewewewewewewew jgnfkdjgbesk" STOP BEING A FOOD PRUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These little guys are divine, i dont know what else to tell you, every time i talk about this place one of you always freaks out about the octopus with out even trying it and it infuriates me. Just TRY IT ONCE, and then when you shut up and feel bad for not being willing to try the greatest thing ever, ill accept your apology. Having said that, order that.

Also, get that french lemonade mmmm

once you order go pick up some appetizer olives, sit down, have your food brought to you, UNLIKE HERA!!!!! no wonder zeus booked it to earth, and feast upon the greatness, and maybe if you are lucky, you'll see Papa Cristo walk around and say hi to you as you are serenaded with greek music!

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM ;)

And "Sh*t" - inspired by Olivia Forman

Probably the funniest things I heard this year was when Olivia in advisory just had a complete outburst, "OK! I don't get why guys after everything they say they go "and sh*t," "ya dude, we went to the movies and sh*t....." WHAT IS THIS SH*T YOU GUYS DO!!!!!!" Well, I'm going to take this time to explain what this (stuff) is that we do. Think of "and stuff" as the pirates code. Their are certain things that happen during a guys night out that are instinctually understood by our fellow brethren. They cannot be described because the "Stuff" could be anything, but it is understood that something went down. Girls generally don't understand what we mean simply because they are not males, follow my logic? good. It's just instincts, kind of like when girls look at each other not saying a word and know exactly what each other thinks. Do the same thing to a guy and were clueless. You see, its all instinctual code. SO, though we may not know what this stuff is, we do know, because we can feel it, because we are men, and have a Y chromosome.

Sigur Rós

What's Sigur Ros? That's usually what I get when people ask me what my favorite artist is... or when I'm running down the hallway falsetto'ing like a G6. Not that many people know them or even like them, probably because their music is completely non-mainstream, so here's kind of my take on them. Sigur Ros is from Iceland, which earns them 1000 respect points off the bat. Their music is not really like anything else, being very atmospheric and exploring a variety of sounds. WIkipedia describes them as "post-rock," but they really encompass multiple genres in their music, containing classical orchestras, heavy distortion, and folk instruments.  Jonsi, their singer has one of the most amazing voices you will ever here. NO ONE can sing like him. I'm talking about a guy, who can falsetto so well and beautifully, that his voice actually pieces broken wine glasses back together. Sigur Ros is also know for their bowing of the electric guitar, or "ros bow" as Thorir calls it. This unique sound really gives the essence of what the band is. All their songs are like an adventure each having a different mood form depressing to uplifting. Because each of the bands members knows how to play their instrument extremely well, you can really explore their work in the individual and collective level. My favorite album right now by them is the "()" or the untitled album. What's unique in this album is that none of the vocals are actually any words, just Jonsi using his voice as an instrument or "hopelandic." Each song's lyrics sound the same, but his voice is good enough to carry on its own. Even though I don't understand what any of the icelandic means, and reading some translations give me some perspective, the music is enough to really send a message about what Jonsi is singing about. No matter what mood, there is always a Sigur Ros song that can help me out. ROS FOR LIFE

I Heart Bratwurst

Ok, so some of you might be thinking, but too afraid to ask me because you are weak and lack fortitude, "Oh hey Carlin, where should I go to get some mighty fine Brats in this here town?" Well fellas, don't you worry. It's amazing we live in a city where there is no real cultural conformity. This here country ain't no melting pot, it's like chopped salad, diverse. SO, where can we go to find a nice brat to satisfy our craving? Well, thats at 800 E 3rd street at the WURSTKUCHE. It is a small German sausage kitchen that cooks copious amounts of brats of all kinds. Just head in and do not falter with your order. You got to get that german brat, with the kraut, and the onions. GOD HELP YOU IF YOU DO NOT ORDER THOSE KRAUT AND ONIONS. Any free thinking, proud german would look down upon your bland, tasteless, vapid order, as pathetic. If you are going to eat your brat by its self, just don't come. Don't be a pansy and cower in your order, or give the cashier some excuse like "oh herp derp i dont like dem onions," seriously, stop it and grow up. Now, with that brat, you're going to want to purchase some Belgium fries, these are divine. Now you can get any dip with those fries, but my favorite is the curry ketchup. Its like the irrepressible deliciousness of ketchup with fries, but now with 50 megaton curry warhead attached heading at 2 times the speed of sound at your taste buds. Think Chernobyl but 30 years later your taste buds are destroyed not by massive amounts of radiation, but massive amounts of deliciousness making all food taste like fedex cardboard boxes. Now, once you have ordered your fries and brat, select your beverage of choice, Beer or Beer. There is a plethora of beer of to choose from, but you see, its a tease, you can't have any of it, kind of like a Victoria's secret fashion show, but more tantalizing due to its proximity. SO what do we do, we compromise like any good German, (am i right or am i right) and we select from one of the many overpriced imported Soda's. Talk about a vicious circle ey. Now wash your hands. When you select your table, you have a choice of sitting at a communal bench like setting in the middle or small 2-3 person tables around the side. This gives you the option of being extra super duper social in your bratwurst exploits, or have a nice quiet lunch with your brethren or wenches. Once you have waited and drank a sufficient amount of imported soda, your food will be brought and served to your table upon metal platters that make it appear you are receiving the ambrosia of the gods, a gift from Zeus him self. Wait, do not attempt to eat just yet, you must honor the brat. Before it is worthy of your stomach, it must be baptized in a ritual pouring of spicy German mustard. It is the final, and it is the most important ingredient. Without it, your brat is cursed, it does not have the blessing of safe passage through your digestive system. Eating a brat with out mustard is like a ferrari with no driver, Cheech with no Chong, herp with no derp, egg's benedict with no hollandaise sauce. When the brat is Komplete, now it is time to eat. NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM, YOUR DONE??? Well now, Thats just the first step. A german brat is merely the most basic brat you can achieve. This next suggestion is not for the weak of heart, but suppose one was feeling a bit, adventurous, there are many exotic sausages to choose from. Duck, snake, rabbit, bore, elk, thawed mammoth, vegi, polish, endangered arctic wolf, kangaroo etc... Moreover, conformity is necessary in what you order with your bratwurst because of strict social pressures that force the individual to adhere to a predetermined normality that if not strictly complied with, would result in ultimate destruction of the said individuals purpose and existence.

Confromity

Flow of thought... Life has many opportunities. After getting into college, it had me thinking of what is there left to do here. How can i make the best of the time i have left? I feel that my sense of of conformity fades everyday, not because i want to rebel, but i want to be my self and enjoy life. Although i do my work, its not really my top priority. I want to believe my rebellious acts are justified because I try to improve my self with them. Make the day a little brighter, just like a sexy sax man would..... Conformity is necessary, but not now. Now is the time to be my self.

intro

The struggle of conformity has long since been a conflict man has faced through time. As human beings, we have evolved into social creatures, working together to achieve higher goals than could possibly be imagined; however, how much is the human race willing to come together? What is the point that the individual begins to fade away, become a cog in a system or a part of a greater machine? The danger of this is that if the greater stands for something the individual does not, then the choice must be made whether to confirm against his or her own will, or stand up for what he or she believes. [Add about kafka] Conformity is necessary to an extent, but what defines us as humans is the fact that we are able to question our instincts and our ability to fit a social norm. Though conformity is a necessary evil, it is still in fact an evil, and must be carefully dealt with. The irony of human evolution is that no matter how far we grow as a community, no matter how socially in tune we become with each other, that if we do not stand for our individual beliefs, then the diversity of mind's that once made us so great are lost in a sea of non-free thinking conformity.

Kafka

Potential Essay Idea: Finding the proper balance of minimal conformity to achieve ultimate individualization.

Personally, I think conforming is the worst thing you can do to your self. If you want to be anything, achieve any goal, you must stand up for your self. Going through the motions doesn't cut it and people are always trying to get ahead. You have to be able to stand out, be different and not care what others think. The more you try to be something you are not, the more you go with the flow, you eventually become nothing and your purpose in life and to anyone is meaningless. There is also a catch, pure anarchy doesn't cut it either. There must be fines  in the way you conduct your individuality.....

Just grow a backbone and spit in the faces of all of those who say "you can't." Dare to prove them wrong.