HEY TUTS, HOW BOUT A FOOD REVIEW, OK

Ok people, today were doing greek, so make sure you're appetite is BLG and FAT. Now some of you are probably sitting here feeling like total experts on the subject thinking "oh that big greek place on ventura is the best herp derp d derp..." well, no its not. I mean ya, I would think flambéed snail served with a garlic butter sauce, accompanied with goats thigh is the best thing in the world if thats all I knew, but no, there are  more things to eat in this world than a crunch wrap supreme.<== those are really good too but anyways. Alright so, one day on Mount Olympus Zeus was kicking it with his main Girl Vanilla Hera, when all of a sudden he was like "oh snap, I'm hungry, Honey go fetch me some nectar from the womb of delciousness." Being the strong independent wife Hera is, she was quick to deny Zeus' Request. Zeus had no choice but to find a new wife.... JUST KIDDING, but he did have to go get his own food, SOOOO, he took a lightning bolt and dipped it in some fine wine (legend has it as a 50. B.C. Chateau Montenella Zinfandel) and casted it down upon the earth somewhere near USC, and this happened ===> http://www.papacristos.com/ C& K Greek imports or more commonly known  as PAPA CRISTOS. Now this aint no sit down restaurant, well, it is, but not something you take your girl out to for dinner, maybe for lunch ;). Inside is like a small family market selling imported greek foods from all around the world, more specifically Greece. They have feta, olives, feta, feta, feta, olives, lamb, feta, olive oil, lamb, feta, and all other greek foods, but thats the stuff you take home after we get to the good stuff. SO, once you enter, get past the shopping ladies, then you see that they have a little restaurant in the back. You would think at first sight that "oh, some quick cheap place to eat before I head back home to watch the game and drink beer," but you are wrong, oh so wrong. Its one of those places that have pictures of all the food so you can point and water at there greatness, so I'm going to give you guys a little breakdown of what goes down in the down town. So, some random non greek woman will ask you "what do you want?' This is how you answer===>

I would like to have a 1 Gyro. I love this place because when I say Gyro like Gyro and not Euro, they don't correct me like every other smart ass at cheese cake factory does or something. These are the best gyros you will ever eat. The softest warm greek pita that melts in your mouth upon insertion into the oral cavity. The lamb is so fresh and so well spiced, its like an explosion in your mouth of MMMMMMM. The rest is the usual, yogurt sauce and salad inside. Pure heaven

I would also like to have one Cheese Pastry. Think of this as a feta hot pocket, not because they taste like **** but because if you don't wait before you eat, its like biting into a balloon filled with napalm and your mouth will be incinerated, and everything for the next 2 weeks will taste like cardboard. When eaten properly, these are divine, the melted Feta and the crispy flaky crust are like little pockets of greatness.

I would like a Grilled Feta Plate. Something about cooking cheese always gets me. You take cheese, something already super delishtastic, and you crisp it up a bit mmmmm. SO they grill you some feta, drench it in olive oil and oregeno, and serve with grilled tomatoes. Simple and Divine.

I would like some Grilled Baby Octopus!!!!!! This is my favorite. When an octopus is born into this world, it has to biologically wired purposes in this world. The first is to reproduce to cary out the next generation. The second is hopefully to get caught by the fishing company so it can be taken to the valhalla of deliciousness where there it is sacrificed and turned into the greatest dish on this planet. These crazy greeks take these octopi, put them on the grill and and crisp them to the wrote temp, so they are soft in the middled, but the tentacles are crispy on the outside mmmmmm. Then they are drenched in olive oil, lemon and oregano, and served in a bowl of foil to keep warm. You are probably sitting here "ew, octopus, ewewewewewewewewewewewew jgnfkdjgbesk" STOP BEING A FOOD PRUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These little guys are divine, i dont know what else to tell you, every time i talk about this place one of you always freaks out about the octopus with out even trying it and it infuriates me. Just TRY IT ONCE, and then when you shut up and feel bad for not being willing to try the greatest thing ever, ill accept your apology. Having said that, order that.

Also, get that french lemonade mmmm

once you order go pick up some appetizer olives, sit down, have your food brought to you, UNLIKE HERA!!!!! no wonder zeus booked it to earth, and feast upon the greatness, and maybe if you are lucky, you'll see Papa Cristo walk around and say hi to you as you are serenaded with greek music!

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM ;)